Assuming that you’re not reading this in advance for the
2016 holiday season or something like that, it’s too late to get these for Festivus, Hanukkah, Christmas, or any other winter holiday. Sorry. I didn’t get around to writing this up in time.
But fear not! The wonderful thing about the holidays finally
being over is that it’s actually a prime time to pick up some gifts and such
for friends and family, and that hopefully includes your authorial friend. I
mean, sure, we can be a bit distant, and often a bit drunken, but we mean well…
for the most part. Let’s not look at this relationship too closely, otherwise
it might fall apart.
See, once you’re done with the holidays, there’s an amazing
convergence of things going on. Everything that the stores couldn’t move in
time goes on super-ultra-discount, and you also might well have some extra
money because Great Aunt Ida still insists on giving you a hundred dollars
every year, bless her heart.
So, with some holiday cheer in your wallet, what exactly can
you do to make your author feel loved? Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but
these are five things I certainly wouldn’t say no to, if some kind soul
inserted them into my writer’s nest.
5: Review/Buy Book/Et
Cetera
Okay, if I’m being frank, this is the best thing you can do.
Snag a copy of your author’s book, read it, review it, pass it on to someone
else, hell, buy it as another friend’s post-holiday gift if you think they’d
like it. It’s awesome, and it will make your author feel unbelievably
wonderful. This is the top thing you can do, but I have it at the bottom. Why?
Because all these sorts of lists have that as the number one thing, and I enjoy
being contrary. Also because it’s more or less an anonymous gift, in a lot of
ways, and giving feels good. I love being able to see someone receive my gift.
But mostly to be contrary, and to get it out of the way.
Seriously, when it comes to spreading cheer to your author, this is the big
one. But if you’re looking for something a little more material…
4: Hooch
Liquor. Booze. Alcohol. Goofy juice. Whatever you want to
call it, writers tend to like it. It’s not universal, so use your best
judgment, but I’ve only met a handful of authors who don’t like a hearty nip
every now and then. If you don’t know their drink of choice, you can always get
them a basket of miniatures (My local liquor store will even arrange four
mini-bottles of liquor into a bouquet with chocolates for an extra five
dollars) to cover your bases. But, being the oddballs we authors are, something
classic is always good. Something that makes us feel more like Hemingway.
Whiskey, rum, scotch. Old school writerly drinks. Something off the wall will
normally be welcome, too. If you find a weird flavor or a cool-looking bottle
or something like that, you can bet a writer will crack it open with you. Or
something that goes well with coffee, so we can ‘kickstart our muses’ in the
morning.
3: COFFEE
Maybe you’re not quite comfortable with the booze, or you’re
not old enough, or they’re not old enough, or you know they just plain don’t
drink. Go straight for the heart of the matter. Coffee. Or tea or hot cocoa.
Whatever their morning wake-up drink is. Personally, one of my favorite gifts I
ever received was a collection of hot cocoas. Different flavors you just dump
into hot water or milk. I’m simple like that. But I wouldn’t say no to a bag of
coffee, either, and you can get decent deals on that, too, after the holidays
are over. Especially the more specific flavored coffees like gingerbread and
snickerdoodle and such. One of the best I found was for my sister, at a Ross of
all places (White chocolate macadamia nut coffee. I didn’t even know this was a
thing.), so keep your eyes peeled. Tea is also good, and especially nowadays,
you can go nuts with it. Places like Steeped Tea, Dryad Tea, and FridayAfternoon Tea will ship bags of loose leaf tea to your doorstep. I’m down to
one cup of my vanilla Earl Grey that I got for Christmas last year, and I’ve
been nothing but happy with it. And if you want to get really fancy with it,
there are coffee and tea subscription services, too. Or just a gift card to a
local coffee joint works too.
2: Music
During the whole run of the holiday season, CDs seem to be
on sale (Believe it or not, CDs are still actually a thing.), with instrumental
music being particularly easy to get a hold of. I find that there’s always a
section in the back of Hastings or Wal-Mart with symphonic and orchestral
music, and it’s always super cheap as it is (I got a five-CD collection of
Tchaikovsky music for about 5 bucks), and post-holiday sales make it even
easier to get your hands on it. And as a general rule, writers like
instrumental music. I’m one of the weirdos who actually writes to music with
lyrics, but even I like to use instrumentals. So if you see something lying
around, give it a buy.
1: A Day Out
This isn’t exactly a physical gift, but it’s still one of
the best things you can do for a writer. We’re terribly solitary, reclusive
little creatures. I hear that if you put us out in the sun, we burst into
flames. Okay, not really, but a lot of us do tend to burn something awful. We
don’t leave our caves very willingly, because there’s always another book to be
written, edited, or submitted. Or if not, there’s a short story. Or we need to
do marketing. And if there’s a looming deadline, you’re lucky if we even sleep.
Your writer, like most, will likely be resistant to your
insistence that they actually move. But force your way through the hemming and
hawing and drag their ass out the door. It’s best if you somehow force it. Buy
the movie tickets ahead of time or make lunch reservations. Make sure they know
that there was legwork involved that would all fall apart if they didn’t leave.
If your writer actually does have a looming deadline, they’ll stay in anyway,
most likely, but otherwise, get them out. As much as they’ll hate it at first,
they’ll end up having a good time. See, we might be good with words, but no so
god at self-care. That’s why we need moderately normal people to remind us that
there’s a world out there not made
entirely of pixels on a screen. And even if they never say thank you, they’ll
appreciate it.
But if they don’t say thank you, guilt them into it. Guilt
works wonderfully well on writers. Pro tip.
So, hopefully you’re armed to gift something to your
favorite author buddy. Happy holidays, everyone.
Voss
No comments :
Post a Comment