Why YOU Are a Nerd

You don't know how many time I've heard it before: Oh, no, I'm not a nerd.

Bull. Shit.

I'm sorry to tell you, but modern society, anyone exposed to media culture, is nerdy. We can't really help it, and I wish people would stop trying. You're a nerd. Your brother is a nerd. That homeless guy down the street? I bet he's a nerd, too.

What? How can that possibly be? Why, it's preposterous.

Again: bullshit.

Let's take a look at fashion. What are people saying is the next huge thing? Steampunk of course.

But, but, steampunk isn't nerdy! It's popular.

How many more times can I call BS on that kind of thing?

Steampunk is retrofuturistic sci-fi. Sci-fi, folks! It's origins are in nerddom, along with cyberpunk, Harry Potter, Twilight, all the Marvel movies. We are a nerd culture. The more quickly we accept this, the happier we'll all be, I think.

Let me break open the arcane world of SF/F conventions for you that haven't been, for you that scoff at the idea of setting foot in that place.

We have folk music, belly dancers, fire-breathers.

People walk around with snakes, women wearing corsets and scanty clothes, men wearing nothing but leather shorts.

Scotch-tasting tents, impeccable reproductions of costumes, smiling, laughing, drinking, handmade jewelry, drinking, midnight raves, dancing the Time Warp in the hallway, taking pictures with strangers because they, like you, admit that they're nerds.

Need more? How many of you watched all the Harry Potter movies, read all the books? Or The Hunger Games? Twilight? Lord of the Rings? The Chronicles of Narnia? Kung Fu Panda? Despicable Me? V for Vendetta? Batman? Superman? Deadpool? The X-Men? What the hell do you think is going on with all of those? They are NERDY! Not to mention Star Wars. One of the biggest cultural phenomena.

Just because something get popular doesn't mean it's no longer nerdy. I want you to say it loud and proud: I am nerd! Hear the mighty roll of my D20!

Voss

I Am, in Fact, Alive

Well, however, may very well be under suspicion. I've had one heck of a hectic life lately. My family moved back up from Texas, so we have an extra six people trying to cram daily life into a single-wide trailer house. The fact that they sleep in a motor home is the lone saving grace in this population crisis.

And, in the in-between moments, I've been writing. I finished the second book of a trilogy (The first book will, hopefully, be coming soon, but no promises.) and a short story that I intend to send out to a lovely little steampunk anthology in the works down in Australia.

Aside from that, I've been plotting other short stories and novellas to try and squeeze in, since writing an actual 'novel' while trying to adjust to family is, well...unlikely. I think we can all agree to that.

Mostly, I've been sleeping or wishing I could sleep. In fact, I kind of wish I could sleep now...it's not a bad idea, really...I think I'll take a nap.

Happy Monday, y'all,
Voss

ASIM #57: Launched

And you don't even have to have a ticket to read it. Yes, after some tricky wormhole trouble a little ways back, Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine is back on track with ASIM 57. Why should you care? Well, there are some great stories in there...including one of my own, 'Schrödinger.'

If this interests you at all, hop on over here and see if they'll teleport you a copy. I bet they would.

As always, best wishes for whatever your life may hold,

Voss

Z - Zooooooooombies

Braaaaaaaains.

Zombies are still having a good time. It’s died down a bit, but the train is still chugging along. I had a discussion about this with a number of people once. The prevailing theory was that zombies are our new cautionary tales.

Wash your hands or you’ll get sick. And getting sick could turn you into a zombie.

Stay away from strangers. They might be carrying the zombie virus.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste. And if you don’t use it, it doesn’t get tough, so zombies are more likely to eat it.

If you couldn’t tell, I’m basically making this up. But seriously—enjoy the rest of your day. I plan to.

I also wanted to say how much I just loved doing A-Z blogging again. Through all the stresses and strains, it was still a great experience. And to new friends and acquaintances: hi!

Voss

Y - You

You scroll across an article, realizing not long after the beginning that it’s written in second person. You scratch your head, wondering who in their right mind would ever do that. That’s against the Geneva Convention, you recall.

Okay, I’ll stop. But I do want to talk second person. Just for a bit. You can shoot me later. But I’ve always had a soft spot for one thing that came from second person. I think you know what it is: Choose Your Own Adventure books. I loved them. I still do, actually. It’s just hard to find them written for adults. And by hard, I mean nearly impossible.

But what do you think? Do you think it’s time for a Choose Your Own Adventure comeback? I’d like to see that. Heck, I may even try my hand at it. In a couple years. When I get through everything else I’m already working on.

Cheers,

Voss

X - Xianghua and Other Badass Women

Who doesn’t like a warrior woman? No one, that’s right. And these, in my opinion, are the ten most badass of them all, ranging across movies, shows, books, and video games. Enjoy. Or something.

10: Molly Weasley (Harry Potter): Why so low? Because she only had one truly badass moment. Then why does she even make the list? She killed Bellatrix Lestrange. That alone warrants her being on this list, trust me.

9: Xianghua (Soul Calibur): Anyone that can trade blows with trained samurai, undead pirates, and demon knights is okay I my book. More than okay. Xianghua is highly trained in martial arts. And, you know, she sort of wields Soul Calibur, the sword of pure awesomeness or something like that (I’m paraphrasing, of course).

8: Mara Jade (Star Wars Extended Universe): You have to love her. She’s a force sensitive, can wield a blaster (and later a lightsaber), and is capable of keeping up with the last officially trained Jedi in the galaxy.

7: Nevva Winter (The Pendragon Series): Sure she’s evil. That doesn’t make her not a badass. She’s manipulative, clever, and can change her appearance at will. That’s on top of the normal abilities of Travelers, like instantaneous understanding of any language and the ability of traveling through space and time to another dimension. Plus she does redeem herself later.

6: Demona (Gargoyles): A magitech gargoyle warrior. I love it. She’s almost entirely self-serving, so she’s not exactly nice. Plus she has some sex appeal, which never helps. And, unlike most kids’ show villains, she isn’t a bumbling ball of uselessness. She’s bloody clever, actually.

5: Minerva McGonagall (Harry Potter): Come on. You can’t honestly contest that. A woman that can hold her own against Death Eaters and has the respect of Albus Dumbledore? She’s got to have something go for her and you know it.

4: Lady Tsunade (Naruto): I wouldn’t want to face her. Capable, with her power limited, to flick people off and away with a single finger. She can break bones with slight hits. And did I mention the summoning of the giant slug? All while using a good portion of her power to hold her appearance where she likes it.

3: Raine (The Watershed Trilogy): She can fight, ride a horse, scale almost sheer walls with her bare hands, and she came back from the dead. She learned from a master how to pick locks. She can heal. She was willing to stand up to one of the greatest forces of evil in the world with only one man at her side. She was also blessed by the powers of all three gods of the world, one of only three people of the sort that exist.

2: Unohana Retsu (Bleach): Or Yachiru Kenpachi, if you want to get a little archaic. This is a woman that instills fear in fierce warriors just by existing, a woman that, in thousands of years of battle, only ever took one scar, and a small one at that, a woman that learned advanced healing techniques for the sole purpose of fighting longer. She’s a bit like Yoda, only fighting when duty calls. But older and better looking.

1: Leeloo (The Fifth Element): You can’t argue this one. She’s the supreme being. They come right out and say that. She can fight, learn anything in minutes, and can fire a laser from her mouth that stops basically the ultimate evil where it sits. Find me someone better. I dare you.

Anyone I missed? Let me know—maybe you’ll turn me onto something I haven’t yet come across.

Voss

P.S: This is, of course, just for spec fic. Otherwise there would have been some other names on here. And yes, I cheated on the title a bit. Oh well.

W - What Not to Buy for Writers

You might know a writer. If so, you might be able to pry them away from the keyboard long enough to tell you their birthday or get them to sing a Christmas carol or something. But that might be about it. You won’t know what to get them Well, fear not. Writers are easy enough to appease. But here are the list of the top five things you should NOT get your writer friends.

(Note: This is meant to be slightly humorous. Take with a grain f salt and call me in the morning.)

5: Pencils: Pencils are evil. Unless your writer asks for pencils, just back away.

4: A desk set: It’s not going to get used. Sorry. I don’t want an audience while I’m writing. If you want to get them a desk set, don’t do it because you think that a writer should like it. We won’t

3: Nice pens: We’ll just use them and either destroy them or never buy refills, then feel guilty whenever we use another pen around you.

2: Notebooks: It’s a really nice gesture. I mean it. It is. But I’ve never met a writer without blank notebooks. We just don’t get around to filling them very quickly. I once got a bunch of half-used notebooks. Like, twenty or more. I gave away half of them, lost half of what I had left, and that still lasted me several years. The problem is that we by ourselves, and everyone buys them for us. We really don’t need them.

1: A fancy notebook: Just stop. Step away from the leather bound notebook. It’s expensive and we really aren’t going to use it. There’s some strange combination of already having way too many notebooks we aren’t using and a general reverence for nice books that makes it impossible to mark one. If you’re set on the idea, then go to the juvenile section, pick us up something with, like, Harry Potter stuff on it, or Katniss Everdeen. Something nerdy is always good—we wont’ feel so bad wrecking it.

Happy hunting,

Voss